" OOHMERULE "

Hello, lovelies. 💗 I was going to internally scream, "Where's my laptop?!" but then i went into my room and found it on the table haha like, weh how am i suppose to work (work lah sangat mi 👅) without the laptop? I already gave up the Lenovo one to eldest brother - i thought he's taking this Compaq (mom's) too because he was borrowing. Tapi since dia tak bawak balik Shah Alam, everything's fineee~ Itu lah. Glad I'm the cari first, gelabah later type. Huhu. Thought of passing the Lenovo to my younger brother since he's still studying and thought that Autocad and other systems and programs would fit just nice - no lagging and all that. Ah, you know how students deal with assignment documents, games and stuff, right? Kalau tak lag tu dah alright dah but then, ada orang dah mintak. Huhuhu dia pun dah decide to beli lain pulak. Tak bagitahu pun. Kalau tak, dah pass down dah. Meanwhile, when I was in college, start bawa laptop ni ...

Since I love cartoons so much, I might as well get some cartoons to lecture me. Hahaha. Well, they are good cartoons - creatively illustrated, detailed with subtitles and all. All the highlights are well interpreted. Good cartoons, yes! And what made them better is that these cartoons are made out of just pure kindness. What's the word? Hmm (still the finding the right word...) I mean, the illustration are somebody's courtesy. These videos can be watch for free. It's the education of Quran and people are giving the lecture for free. Yea, kindness like that. You do it out of love. Just for da'wah. And how great it is that it is then watched by people like me who needs help, who needs good words for consolation. Who just needs motivation to keep going. Mann, they are making full use of their talent, I'm telling you. If any one of you good girls and boys do such act of volunteering like this, well, you know what rewards you after that. As the English saying ...

Ayyyyyeeeeee~ I am back with new kind of gooodd spirit, yay. Haha. After lots of consideration, advices and time spent listening to a number speakers online, I've come to realise that if I ever have faith within then I'll just have to accept that there are always silver linings behind every obstacle. A speaker have said that, "When a person comes to God with the intention to repent even if his fault is as big as a mountain, Allah forgives. And if there's greater gift than a forgiveness towards His slave, it's Him turning that mountain of sins into good deeds since this person has genuinely repent". He also added that if one is to question himself wether he is forgiven or nay, he quoted the ayat from Quran (I can't quite recall the exact ayah but it's something that goes like, "When a slave repents, We (Allah) forgive". And as a believer, we should know that Allah keeps his words. He also said, just have faith that Allah swt has forgi...

i have not regret anything in my life. and maybe i have not taken any lessons quite seriously before. i don't know if, now, life is trying to make me live with a past i cannot change or what but i can feel myself losing weight again (i lost so many kilos already) and i think i am not in a good condition, i do not take care of my health, my daily water intake. well, everything is not okay. i do not feel okay myself, i cannot seem to bring myself to forgive me for what i have done and i sort of solely believe i have to mend things first in order to feel right and start doing things for myself. i cannot forget the fact that i did something so wrong in so many ways. oh yes it was wrong. i pray to god: Give me the chance to make this right. I promise to do this in the right way. I promise I'll work hard and not take things for granted again. Lord, help me for I cannot seem to forgive myself. I'll change. I'll invent a whole new me. I'll be good. Let me fix this...

back to writing - feeling like it's a must, only for this once. i don't know. something just calls me to write today because i am currently not very happy but, happy is the only way anyway. remember when we were so much younger than ever? and probably happier. well , i remember most of everything. i could not be any more grateful that i am now not a nuisance, thank god, i am actually happy with whatever god is giving me. i am sincerely and truthfully am grateful. how can i not be? it's just that growing up is not some other chapter you know you'll get through. it is harder than i imagined it would be but still, growing up is a fine thing to do. i am feeling fine. maybe it's the weather. maybe it's hormonal changes. maybe it's the feeling of uncontentment . maybe it's just another phase of seeing things in different point of view. however , there's actually things happening here and there that needs concern. i need...

"what do you want most in the whole world?" If I were to be asked, my answer would be "love" and love it shall be. I want to be loved and appreciated and cared of. Perhaps, it is attention which I crave most. All I know is that what makes me human. I am already so full of love yet all I am ever going to ask is love too. Since I was little, I've been comfort with love. It is probably the first thing that I learned. Mother shows me that love is sacrifice. She has always been there for us - spending all of her time to prepare us for our lives. Even though she is a very busy woman, she'd make time for us. She is never too busy for her boys and never too busy for me. That is very big sacrifice. Mother shows that it is crucial to manage time because it is precious. Father taught me that Love is showing effort. Father, he aids us in everything we do. With the presence of his love never have I felt hardship. My brothers and I live peacefully in prosper whic...

"Why are you wearing that?" "Oh mesti kelas lecturer tu kan, haa kena la hipokrit sikit ye tak" Omg, you should stop manipulating on how I dress. Okay, the best answer I can give you is; it depends. Yeah. Depends on the way you're thinking - whether you think positively or not, I mean. Since years ago, there are going to be days where you will find me wearing "tudung labuh" and the other times I do not. During matriculation days, people are okay with that. The girls like it and they take pictures with me wearing that. They even lend me theirs so they can see me wear one. It was nice. The point is, why is some of you make fun of me wearing it during university? I am not okay with that. This is one of the reason why I dislike the students here - they think they are so big they can simply laugh at clothes I'm comfortable in. Ugh Well, to get even, all I can think is that they are culture-shock pricks. Suddenly getting the chance t...