Skip to main content

Dislike It When You Do It

they dont know what i've been doing all this while


I dont just sit there and do nothing. I tried everything almost everyday. And what did I get in return? A rebel yell and growling sounds exploding my ears. What harm did I do? You always think negetively about me. I'm not sure how long will I ever make it to live with that for a whole year. This year is very important for me. I need to get ready for everything. Dont you try to make me live in a living hell. Its not like I'm tired of trying to fake things for you but I'm tired of flashback-ing stuff that you said to me and the way you act like I didnt try at all. How can I ever make you satisfy with you keep sniffing my mistakes? You only see the bad side of me. When I do things right, you dont say anything but when I screwed up just a little, you'll start yelling at me. What did I do wrong to you? Dont make me feel so miserable, please. One time, you're like an angel. The other time, you torture me inside out. How could you do this to me? Dont love me anymore? Hate me already? I'm not evil. She helps us. She helps you. How can you tell me I'm not being nice? I am already made that way.



I just hate it when you dont see me for who I am because you always hope that I'm better. You cant judge me. I have a heart, too. It's your own fault. You always expect that I can be a picture of your imagination. I am a normal human being, not an android with a human looking outer surface. You put too much burden on me and I just cant bear them any longer. I hope that you'll except me for what I am sooner.



Okay, 'nuff said.



At least, I found a shoulder to blab all this thing. You're one good hero! Even when you're not there by my side, you always know that there's something wrong. You're a warrior with thousands of strategy to melt my heart slowly - without pain, just the niceness. Gosh, I feel like I'm drowning in you. Hehee, what a word to spill.



When you called, I hope that it'll last longer. When you texted, I hope that I'll keep it forever. When we'll meet, I hope that this relationship gets better. Oh my, am I addicted to something? Well, I dont mind as long as it's something good. I'm happy we're on the right track. Everything seems so nice. I feel warm - yeah, warm, i'm feverish. What did I mean by being on the right track? It seems to me that we dont do anything wrong. Well, that's why I hope that it will just stay this way. Yeah, this way, I'll get to know you better. Without being mean, without feeling bored to death. There's nothing wrong with us being friends, right?



How can I be so clumsy? How can I cannot realise that you were there - among them? What a waste, right? I should've caught a glimpse of you, hehe. And and, here I am. When the holidays end, I'll have to wait again. Still cant believe that I actually enjoy waiting. You must be something.



Gahaahaa, why am I writing this? Well, I dont know. It feels better than just blabbing about something shitty and annoying. You know that sometimes I post entries full of craps, right? You notice? Well, you dont have to. I know you're just being negetive. Put your negetive side away when you're viewing my blog. Or else, you dont have to give yourself an eyesore just by looking at my whole crappy blog. Dont mind me, I enjoy being here. And I'm not going to apologize for who I am and for what I typed. How can I be when it feels, uhm, exciting?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

There Are Some Silver Lining

yeah, when Selena Gomez sings 'Everything Is Not What It Seems' . well, today, if you wanna know...is SUCKS . but, not the whole part of it. just the part that was ruined by an evil maniac that I don't even know . maybe we haven't met yet - and, did I mention that he/she is a maniac?!!! and irresponsible too! very irresponsible indeed. what a person! this morning i woke up almost early. however, i accidentally slept the morning . ugh. and that was where the whole story begins. yeah, totally. then, i woke up again. didn't have time to look at the clock. there was no time because the curtain was flashed with daylight! i know i was going to be late to school. yesterday, i went to school and guess what, even the stray cats didn't walk in the school front gate yet . if you come to my school, there is this cat with white fluffy fur. anyway, i'm not really the person who has any positive interest in cats. except for kicking them, HAHAA. ok, not gonna happen. back...
Post a Comment
Read more

is it a mistake? it is?

hmm, last night, while i was sleeping about 8++ pm at the living room, suddenly my phone rang and there was a message from an annonymous number which means i dunno whoever this person is. i woke up and cant continue my beauty sleep. i read the message that goes like this.. "haii.. nme ko adila an?" something like that lahh. then i replied, "apsl? de kne ngene bla bla..." i didnt remember this. and this annonymous person replied back, saying i am so "poyo" and "cam bgus" and "pegi mmpos" and "bla lah wei" [talk to the hand lahh weyy!] i felt so pissed off and felt like kicking his brain out of his big-headed head!! ahhh! and replied, "Fuck lak kaw, sial!! Bjet kaw bgos sgt nk carut2 aku nehh!" i knew that he is a "he" cos no bitch dares to text me like that or else she'll wake up underwater in a bird cage with nothing but herself. you dont messed up with the one who messed other people up, you got that j...
Post a Comment
Read more

"Hey there, Delilah. Here's to you. This one's for you"

Hello, lovelies. 💗 There are certain things keep bugging my head every now and then but none of those is as saddening as this one currently circling my head. Almost two years has passed. Crazy how one thing could really decide to just sit there in your head and won't ever leave, right? *sigh. And as crazy as that may be, um, I don't know why it keeps coming back. I don't mean anything vivid like flashbacks - just feelings. Perhaps I'm so used to missing it every single day and had been comfortable of doing so for quite a long time that somehow a man of routine like me failed to forget. Not like I'm trying hard enough. I remember crying so hard and has begged to have my life back. Wallahi , that one du'a was so sincerely wished it literally came true. I got my life back. He gave me my life back. Just the way it was before life decided to be complicated. But why, though everything is back as it was once were, that I start to..um. Am I ...
Post a Comment
Read more