Locking myself inside

Because I always talk about everyone else when you were next to me.

People do not push me away. It is just me locking myself inside.

Oh well. It is better to be hurt than to be hurting someone else's feelings.

Tell you what, the fact is no one actually hurts me. Yepp I hurt my own feelings.

You were not serious. I was not myself. We were just two friends spending some time figuring ways to end the nights.

Nothing to worry about. This happens a lot. If it was not me then it was someone else. I remember every bit of what I put myself into.

Ahha yes. Remind me that I used to walk into some other people's lives and left too. Ahh it felt bad at first but what if I did not respond at all? Ain't that going to hurt so much more? Ahh, now I get it. Im paying back all the debts now.

At least it did not break the bond between all of us.

And at least I got the love from my brothers. The always positive me :)

Comments

There Are Some Silver Lining

yeah, when Selena Gomez sings 'Everything Is Not What It Seems' . well, today, if you wanna know...is SUCKS . but, not the whole part of it. just the part that was ruined by an evil maniac that I don't even know . maybe we haven't met yet - and, did I mention that he/she is a maniac?!!! and irresponsible too! very irresponsible indeed. what a person! this morning i woke up almost early. however, i accidentally slept the morning . ugh. and that was where the whole story begins. yeah, totally. then, i woke up again. didn't have time to look at the clock. there was no time because the curtain was flashed with daylight! i know i was going to be late to school. yesterday, i went to school and guess what, even the stray cats didn't walk in the school front gate yet . if you come to my school, there is this cat with white fluffy fur. anyway, i'm not really the person who has any positive interest in cats. except for kicking them, HAHAA. ok, not gonna happen. back...

is it a mistake? it is?

hmm, last night, while i was sleeping about 8++ pm at the living room, suddenly my phone rang and there was a message from an annonymous number which means i dunno whoever this person is. i woke up and cant continue my beauty sleep. i read the message that goes like this.. "haii.. nme ko adila an?" something like that lahh. then i replied, "apsl? de kne ngene bla bla..." i didnt remember this. and this annonymous person replied back, saying i am so "poyo" and "cam bgus" and "pegi mmpos" and "bla lah wei" [talk to the hand lahh weyy!] i felt so pissed off and felt like kicking his brain out of his big-headed head!! ahhh! and replied, "Fuck lak kaw, sial!! Bjet kaw bgos sgt nk carut2 aku nehh!" i knew that he is a "he" cos no bitch dares to text me like that or else she'll wake up underwater in a bird cage with nothing but herself. you dont messed up with the one who messed other people up, you got that j...

"Hey there, Delilah. Here's to you. This one's for you"

Hello, lovelies. 💗 There are certain things keep bugging my head every now and then but none of those is as saddening as this one currently circling my head. Almost two years has passed. Crazy how one thing could really decide to just sit there in your head and won't ever leave, right? *sigh. And as crazy as that may be, um, I don't know why it keeps coming back. I don't mean anything vivid like flashbacks - just feelings. Perhaps I'm so used to missing it every single day and had been comfortable of doing so for quite a long time that somehow a man of routine like me failed to forget. Not like I'm trying hard enough. I remember crying so hard and has begged to have my life back. Wallahi , that one du'a was so sincerely wished it literally came true. I got my life back. He gave me my life back. Just the way it was before life decided to be complicated. But why, though everything is back as it was once were, that I start to..um. Am I ...

" OOHMERULE "

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