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Of second chance

i have not regret anything in my life.

 and maybe i have not taken any lessons quite seriously before.

 i don't know if, now, life is trying to make me live with a past i cannot change or what but i can feel myself losing weight again (i lost so many kilos already) and i think i am not in a good condition, i do not take care of my health, my daily water intake. well, everything is not okay.

 i do not feel okay myself,

 i cannot seem to bring myself to forgive me for what i have done and i sort of solely believe i have to mend things first in order to feel right and start doing things for myself.

 i cannot forget the fact that i did something so wrong in so many ways. oh yes it was wrong. i pray to god: Give me the chance to make this right. I promise to do this in the right way. I promise I'll work hard and not take things for granted again. Lord, help me for I cannot seem to forgive myself. I'll change. I'll invent a whole new me. I'll be good. Let me fix this, ya Rabb.

 i do not want to live a lie anymore.

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